So I am starting a new series once a month about overcoming Heartbreak. It isn't even for anyone, it is more for me. To vent my heartache. And if it helps anyone else than so be it ;)
I am starting of with Death and Mourning because it is very apparent during the Holidays. Someone is missing, someone is no longer there. There is a hole in your heart always but especially during the holidays.
These are things I have learned to not necessarily overcome the heartbreak, but to get through it.
My Grandpa passed a long while ago. I was quite young when he passed. But I loved him so much and I felt very close to him. He had a beautiful voice, he was Captain Vontrapp in a community production of The Sound of Music, so hearing songs make me smile and cry all at the same time because it reminds me of him. I miss him. Recent family drama not at the fault of my family has left us without a relationship with my living grandparents, and it makes me miss him that much more. I am not complaining it happens to millions of people it just makes me miss him.
My Aunt unexpectedly passed a little while back. She was a beautiful person. She was so cute and nice and always had a smile on her face. When learning of her passing it hit like a train. My sister and I were so fortunate to go and see her when my cousin was sealed in the Temple. For some reason we knew we had to go and that was the last opportunity I got to see her. I am so glad I took advantage of that opportunity. She left behind some amazing kids that I love! They are some of the most amazing people I have the pleasure of having in my life. And they all remind me of her in some special way.
Brandon lost his cousin a little while ago. Watching him go through that was a whole different level of heart beak. When your heart is broken it is one thing. But when the person you love most in the world is going through this is even more difficult. His cousin touched so many lives. She helped so many people. The patients she helped were allowed to be bused to her funeral and there were so many people that wanted to show their respects. The place was full. So many people loved her.
When something that unexpected happens your mind goes into so many dark places. Where is God? Why did he allow this to happen? Is there a God? If there is a God, why did he not protect him/her?
If you believe in God, his own son was sacrificed. He knows what it is to lose someone. He allows us all to make our own decisions. Right or wrong the choice is ours, not his. What you think of "protecting" may be different from what he sees as "protecting". It comes down to he cannot make our choices for us.
Below are a few things to help make the holidays bearable when you are missing a loved one. These help me. To each his own. Some may help, some may night. To each his own.
1. Remember the happy times and share them with those close. Funny stories, things they did for you, remembering them helps you feel close.
2. Try not to think about what you would be doing now with them. How old they would be, how they would look. For me this fills you with regret and it makes it hurt to think of the coulda, woulda, shoulda.
3. Be grateful for the time you have with the loved ones here. The ones you have right now. Don't neglect the time you have with them. Your loved one would not want you to stop your life. They want you to live life to the fullest.
4. Anger is the worst thing for your process. Understandably, you are mad you were robbed. But the anger eats at you, it feeds hate, it feeds negativity, it hinders your healing process. Finding peace and forgiveness will not only free you from heartache it will free those around you who are also mourning or are there to support you. Be at peace.
5. If you had passed would you want your loved ones to hate the holidays, shut themselves out, stop everything and dwell. Probably not, you would want them to live! Enjoy the holidays, enjoy each day you are alive. Enjoy the small things.
Here is a video I have loved. I will warn you it is hard to get through. But she pulls out so many good points. Evil never wins in this world. If your loved one was ripped from you by evil, if they suffered an evil illness, evil never wins, do not let it. Find the good. Look for it. Do not let grief stop the life you were meant to live!
Labels: compassion., death, evil does not win, how to overcome a heartbreak, love, mourning